i dunno

one more day of "freedom"
lol ironic isn't it...
20 days ago i was complaining how far off Os seems to be... but now its wham! right in my face. hrrm. my confidence isn't there at all. nothing. i'm constantly thinking how badly i'll fail the damn exams. i feel so... erg nvm

worse off is... the people around me? arent very supportive either. always telling me to study study, yet keep saying negatives.. keep threatening with what will happn if i fail in this crap. i dunno wad to do.. xcept do more useless studying...so thats it.. more studying to do now...

feeling so lonely,
TF

lol

ah.. the last few day.. din go to school. what a great change! finally i can actually concentrate on my work (tho.. the last day was totally used on somthing called...*drum roll* NARUTO!!!)
yea man, i found my new fav comic that will replace TCZ... yea its Naruto.. its about this boy.. at a small age his body has been used to seal up a powerful ninetail fox demon. now he's training to become a ninja... goddamn the thing is hilarious. tho touching, sad serious at times.. the funny parts are REALLY appropriate, and all the jokes hit right home =)





my mood really kena cheered up by the manga lor.. so fun. :] haha. ok lah... now left.. eep barely 10 days -.-'' haha STUDY! CHIOOONG AHHHH!!!!! *crashes into a lampost...*

-BLAZ

The Fallen

i don't know what to do right now. Aimless. I just wish... someone... can understand my feelings. Someone to tell me what to do. And not... laugh... scold... and threaten. Whats the use. In all my life, everyone has done that. When i fall, someone will be there, not to help me up and encourage me, but to laugh at me, scold me and threaten me of consequences should i fail. Tell me... what good does it give you? A filling of fulfillment? Up till now... only one has tried to help me. He pulled me out of the bottomless misery at the time. But.. even he can't do it now.

Why?

Because, of one reason.
In my eyes, there is noone able to do that anymore.

-Blazorax

haha this is a hilarious pic i saw in Naruto... heehee... its his Chuunin Exams, and theres not a single question he can answer ^^ (kinda like me,...). 

new roads...

hmm today.. i actually started concentrating in school, maybe its because today yh was late, and then when he came he shifted right back. and AP had nth else to talk about other then Ninja Gaiden, so after a while he got my hint to keep quiet. so, with noone to talk with, i turned to my work. was pretty boring. well, very , infact. i nearly fell asleep in Physics. hehz my mind even wondered back wistfully to the days i was sitting with GZ, back to the days when we always chitchat, n always boonseng would crack a lame jock n tina will turn back and shack her head, then we all will have a good laugh.

those were the days. i was closed up, but not too close to exclude those in my immediate vicinity. now, i'm much more open, but with all my friends far far away (and those that are near.. well.. are they still counted as friends), i get pretty bored and well... lonely.

tried out a new blogging website today, LiveJournal. pretty cool pretty powerful, but, too uncustomizable.. too damn simple. i got bored way too fast. you can't even code the page yourself! -.-" pffft. so, its out. and.. i've found a new webbie hosting site.. i'm gonna see if i can make a whole new page (more if they allow) for other things ^^ yay. uh oh getting way too long.. i'm outta here.. bye~

TF, Blaz

return to square one

once again i back track. few days ago, i decided to open a few more days up on the front page, so as to let readers who dont go online everyday to easily just scan through, but now i seem to have encountered a little problem. my page gets too long. so, i shredded the idea, n place only one day's worth of goods here. anyone who want to see previous posts will have to go to the Archives to see. sorry bout it.

anyway.. i've been wondering alot about everything this past few days. even more so today. gone out with hl and yh, and well, just about did everything you can in Parkway. and.. when going home, mom ask me to help her carry a few things for her n her friend. the friend ( i'll call her Carol now) brought her sons to help to. I just can't help but notice the closeness of the guys. one is Sec 2, the other, P5... 3 years apart (the older was born late december bah, or retain *shrug*) . i just compare to my own blood brother, and well, i notice a few diffs. we do NOT joke, or even talk unless neccasary, they fight over the smallest things, but in a very joking way, i dont you know, my bro and i never does that. in fact, i do this with yh more often then TF-2... :-/ wierd huh. yh becomes like an older brother to me, and our friendship, to me, is closer then the bond with my own blood brother. i guess its due partly to our enormous 8 year wide age gap, so that even after NS my bro will only be at P6... -.-''

and also... recent events have also made me think about my relationship with friends other then YH... well, i opened up myself to the social environment this year, to the tremendously good result with having 3-6 more really good and fun-to-be-with people. but, something big happens, and all just, well, like dust in a nova, all blown away. left a few heavy n true friends. i'm just sad. why can't there be more true friends like these? just... wishing.

to a few people, you have to understand others, before you judge them. you know who you are.

that is all,
Blaz

tree!

ha.. so early in the morning *yawn* come only to post a pretty amusing pic someone on IRC found haha. a picture of a tree doing something wierd (nothing too bad, dun't worry) see, and have a good time having your eyes enlarged.i'll post a real post later maybe

really-wierd-tree

ciaoz
TeFe

sickz

omg... finally fall sick. good time too -.-. fever + running nose + sorethroat = Flu. and guess what? theres no such thing as a cure for flu. had a chat with the goold doc. he told me that flu cannot be killed, it being a virus and all, the only sure way to prevent it is to get the flu vaccine every year ack. ah well, now i have to sit tight and let the human body take the wheel. erg.

feeling terrible right now.. like wanna ... wanna faint. eyes keep going out of focus, i think its the effect of the .. yellow pill thingy for the fever. (how come its yellow? i tot fever pills are white... and its not paracetamol) pfft. miss everyone at skool. dunt really know y haha. thx tina and y2 for caring yea. should have got a 2 day MC... but hell i got posessed and told the doc i only need 1 -.-. man i feel terrible. hope tmr wont be like yest, whole day zzZ in class cos so tired. even in CHEM!

whole body aching now... even my fingers. so.. i need to stop typing.. bye~

studying make Tom a dull boy

ah.... 26 days to Os.. cant be longer damn. you know how far away it suddenly seems? crap. tmr is wednesday, thus haf Charmed, thus my mood will probably be better haha (oh and tmr got no Clara Sim, n no Maths yay). been really bored, studying studying and more studying.. barely touched the Xbox (not counting the 45 mins of Ninja Gaiden in Challenger today) haha. Halo has started to get.. well.... boring . Halo 2 is 2 months away.. can't wait!.

ummm. today was.. well, fine. seeing less of her craptacular face everyday, seeing as i m shuting down all my feelings for the 3 of them. well, mostly for 2. haiz. wish it didn't come to this. wish everything could have gone fine. haiz. wish this wish that, well its over so... i'm getting over it.

tml Faith's bday...so... HAPPY BDAY!~ ^.^ weeeee
*plays Buffy the Vampire Slayer theme* ( Faith's a Vampire Slayer too, but this Faith is from real life, not TV -.-l)

books

haiz... now everyday like the samez. PPP (post prelim preparation) has started. boring sia.. all lessons become two periods, with the exception of DnT which is continuos 4 period -.-;;... wtf.
and.. been staying back after school to study... works lah, which is good, at least sumthing to do. going to come n post less often now cos chionging for Os... those who've been reading all my posts have already seen my last post haha. oh yea. i'm gonna enable 3 day's post on the page, to fill up holes haha.

already started making plans for wat i'll do after Os... maybe.. go Sentosa camp with moi frends! working is for sure, probably at the arcade, but hopefully elsewhere (i dun mind being webbie admin haha). since already set my mind on a course in poly, i shan't bother myself with it.

hmm.. what else... oh ya.. everyone? JIA YOU!

stupid mistake

ACK! i haf somehow killed all of prisc's blog's images. hmmm its probably the host, cuz i remember moving a metric ton of images into folders to clear up the clutter. this causes [img] url tags in her html to link to nowhere, thus making nothing show up. the only reason everything has stayed in position is because i haf somehow avoided moving her .css style code (which umm i have no idea where it is) so everything is normal. i could probably repair the damage by using her referring to her source html to see where everthing should be... but.. she's got another blog of her own, so why bother. note to self: look before you leap.

to prisc: if u want that blog's images back in place, tell me.

-Blaz

2/10/04

hey all... hopefully, u've noticed some changes made to the the bloggie haha. first off i killed the prev posts, so if anyone wanna take a look at all those old old posts? just go to the archives. and then i moved the tagboard from its old inconvenient postition, to the sidebar, so it doesnt lag the page too much
i've decided to work on a new page, and i'm looking for places to host it. prime up on my list is Diaryland, no ads, just needing a quick link to it. but the downtimes that it experiences sometimes is putting me off. blogger, well, i just hate the damn bar on top... i'm also looking at Ripway hosting, but i dunno... i'll study the features more first.

anyway.. bored. damn bored. O's are approaching fast, and duh i'm studying. but this is getting old fast yea? erg. and also, i'm at a dilemma at what to focus on. thses are my goals, remember i wanna get into the Interactive Media course for TP:

B3 English
A1 Science(Physics/Chem)
B3 Design and Technology
A2 Principles of Accounts
B3 Mathematics
12

that'll give me a solid 12... i really hope to pull my maths to A2...i'm really not confident about entering the course, taking into acct my CCA is ZERO... thus giving jc a no-go. i dont wish to involve Humanities and Chinese, both which umm well, sux. haha. i'm really going hard on my math, which is not in a very good condition. EL... if i can just up my comprehension, i'll score... SC's pretty much done, Phys is on a solid footing, with Chem that will improve once i neutralize my killer, acids and bases. PoA's ok once i stop being so careless. DnT... my project sucked. BUT yh said its still possible to get a B3/4 if i work hard. so i am. grr

this is getting long, so i'm tuning off... bye.
-Blaz