fuck

hah... when the chinese results first came out.. i was like... er.. ok...then got happy for like awhile that i actually passed. then it finally filled this small skull of mine. C6. yea Pass.. so? whats so great about a C6? its close to fail. i probably just passed by one or two marks.i studied nothing but Chinese for a whole week just to pass by one or two marks? maybe i'll rather fail. my friends dont even know i studied. i actually told someone i didnt. ahhh this is infuriating. i've tried to pass this INFERNAL subject for at least twice a year for 4 FREAKING years. yet... everytime i fucking FAIL. yea this year was better. hmm i like this year .. wasnt so bad after all was it? i passed.............. but do i look like i care? C6... its so close to fail that theres no freaking difference.
why am i even bothering to talk about chinese?

i dunt used to care. but then, things, events, people in my life started making me care. And when i care? what happens then? i fucked up thats what i did. now what? i have to retake this shit. i even have to go through prelims. yea so what if i payed. its just too bad i wont have the joy of seeing the Giro form burn. i'll hand in a clean page thats what i'll do. not a single molecule of ink. for the prelims maybe my name only . maybe i'll change my mind and not write a name. anyway, i'll flunk chinese like nobody ever did before (( like i care now, which i dunt ))

Fuck chinese, or mandarin, or mother tougue, or whatever you call that infernal subject.. i'm outta here