hell...
this post is a really long rant ... sry but i have to pour this somewhere else other then my poor bro...
today was incredibly boring xcept for afternoon in which me n yh watched Brotherhood. the show that started all this troubled feelings.ok here i go...
after the show i was like thinking of my relationships with ppl... i realised i had no bond at all with my so-called little brother. how can i feel anything for him? from the day he was born i was jealous. for 8 frikkin years i was treated like nth. my dad din really care bout me.. he rarely even calls my name. sometimes i call him and he looks around n finds 'noone'. git. my mum? i onli have bad memories from back then. everytime i got lower then 85 marks she caned me for every single mark i lost ... bitch. thats y i hate both of em. how m i supposed to lov them? then this git comes after 8 frikkin years n den recieves all this attention. now? hes 8 yrs old. n wat? he gets sweets for scoring above 70! gitgitgitgitgit. spoilt brat. that idiot doesnt even treats me like an older bro. NO respect... some times i juz wanna smack his face for being such a git.
anyway.. i also reviewed alot of my past... pretty much depressing.. tinking wat the hell m i to the rest of the ppl who know me? to the rest of the 5 wat m i? sometimes i juz feel ... like i'm intruding sumthing. yh? i dunno wat 'bro' means now... sry i doubt u.. but...haiz... how bout the rest of the class? i feel that sumtimes.. i dun belong...
i'm sinking deeper here....
i dunno wat to feel... all i feel is this really really difficult feeling that i am not getting it... sometimes its so obvious ppl want me away... sometimes...
i'm feeling really really bad... really really unwanted... haiz... ur not supposed to see this
to the gerl. i'm sorry i cant make myself available... i'm kinda going thru things here... bad exp yar? pls understand. i dun hate u or anything i juz cant... u know...
to yh. i'm sorry if i say like i doubted u.. i'm jus tinkin things
to the rest of the class. i know i sux but... hopefully i'm good enuf.
i know not many will read this but heck i needed to write it down or i'll xplode...
can someone tell me this? juz who the hell m i?
today was incredibly boring xcept for afternoon in which me n yh watched Brotherhood. the show that started all this troubled feelings.ok here i go...
after the show i was like thinking of my relationships with ppl... i realised i had no bond at all with my so-called little brother. how can i feel anything for him? from the day he was born i was jealous. for 8 frikkin years i was treated like nth. my dad din really care bout me.. he rarely even calls my name. sometimes i call him and he looks around n finds 'noone'. git. my mum? i onli have bad memories from back then. everytime i got lower then 85 marks she caned me for every single mark i lost ... bitch. thats y i hate both of em. how m i supposed to lov them? then this git comes after 8 frikkin years n den recieves all this attention. now? hes 8 yrs old. n wat? he gets sweets for scoring above 70! gitgitgitgitgit. spoilt brat. that idiot doesnt even treats me like an older bro. NO respect... some times i juz wanna smack his face for being such a git.
anyway.. i also reviewed alot of my past... pretty much depressing.. tinking wat the hell m i to the rest of the ppl who know me? to the rest of the 5 wat m i? sometimes i juz feel ... like i'm intruding sumthing. yh? i dunno wat 'bro' means now... sry i doubt u.. but...haiz... how bout the rest of the class? i feel that sumtimes.. i dun belong...
i'm sinking deeper here....
i dunno wat to feel... all i feel is this really really difficult feeling that i am not getting it... sometimes its so obvious ppl want me away... sometimes...
i'm feeling really really bad... really really unwanted... haiz... ur not supposed to see this
to the gerl. i'm sorry i cant make myself available... i'm kinda going thru things here... bad exp yar? pls understand. i dun hate u or anything i juz cant... u know...
to yh. i'm sorry if i say like i doubted u.. i'm jus tinkin things
to the rest of the class. i know i sux but... hopefully i'm good enuf.
i know not many will read this but heck i needed to write it down or i'll xplode...
can someone tell me this? juz who the hell m i?
-Tf... mayb... i like dUrAnDaL more
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